“Have you never done cardio before?” the instructor asked. People around us sniggered.
My face burned even redder than it already was as my friends and I trudged behind the group along the side of the mountain.
“Not in thirty-five degree heat,” I wanted to spit back at him.
My friends and I bitched about the instructor’s embarrassing remark during the rest of the climb.
We were in Omis, Croatia, where there are mountains, rivers and the sea all within a one mile radius. No matter where we turned, there was a completely strange and new view to be seen. There was a quiet sea side in one direction, a river that reflected the sun in another, and surreal grey mountains that stood out as if they had been photoshopped everywhere else.
Heights was not my thing, which I had learned while walking along the wall around Old Dubrovnik Town. I had quivered at the knees at every ascent of the narrow wall, freezing still whenever someone nipped past me. But, then again, heights are worth it. I saw a part of the world that I’d never seen before, in a moment that I could never relive exactly as it was. I saw the sky meet the sea as though the sky could be beneath me. I saw clumps of islands where the trees and bushes buzzed with vibrant greens.
Which is what led me to here.
I was the last person in the queue, gracefully allowing my friends to go ahead of me. The harness was drastically uncomfortable and I desperately needed to adjust my knickers but I was too terrified to move anything in case that would be the cause for my imminent death. I’d rather live with a wedgie than plummet to my scenic end.
I watched as people disappeared, one after another. They became part of the wilderness as they landed as ant-sized idiots on the other side.
But it was the cheers. Can I even describe them as cheers? They all screamed out, one after the other, as if everything they had ever felt before was coming out in one noise. As if they couldn’t help themselves.
What happened after that first jump? What feeling was it?
Those noises were one of two reasons why I didn’t turn around.
The second reason was the incredulity of watching people stand on my level in one minute, and then become part of the sky in the next. They trailed along the treetops and they blended in with the rivers beneath. There were tiny people getting out of their tiny cars down on earth to watch.
“Last but not least,” the instructor said when everyone had vanished to the other side and it was only me left on this side. The fearful side versus the invincible one.
I wanted to still be mad at him for his comment earlier, but my head and heart thumped in unison as I stepped onto the wooden platform.
“Oh god, oh god, oh god,” I whispered to myself.
“Take your time. Don’t worry. No matter what happens, we are here to help. Nothing can go wrong.” I nodded at him, grateful that he was recognising my terror.
And I jumped.
While I was moving at what felt like the speed of light, I saw everything. I saw a shade of river that I hadn’t seen that morning. I could see the smiles, fist pumps and waves of my friends on the other side. I could see the dot of a man who stood beside his car on the road beneath me, the awed expression of his face. I could see the colours dancing together.
And I could see that there was nothing between me and the sky.
I opened my mouth and I screamed.
